Do You Speak Newfaneese? (Only a true Newfie will get this!)

20 May 2013 13 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in humor cancer Tags: , , , , , ,

 

trout

If you don’t get it…there is a translation below….

Once agin, anudder ole mauzey twenty-fort of May weekend.  It never fails!  The wedder could be perfect all week, but come da long weekend, and you’re guaranteed drizzle or sloppy snow (or like the poor buggers in Cent-rel got, full blown snow!).  So I wakes up Saturday morning and looks trew me window.  R, D & F, as us Newfies are so accustomed to: Rain, Drizzle and Fog.  I pulls da blankets up over me head.  Not even the taughts of a bile up can entice me out of da fart sack.  But Shawn would have none of it!  He was goin’ troutin’ no matter what the wedder.  Since I drove all da way to Town to see ‘in, I spose I had to get up and go troutin’ wit ‘in.   So off we goes and loads the Rhino aboard da truck.

I wasn’t too concerned wit  gettin’ cold.  I had me winter parka wit me, see?  And a good pair of cowshit rubbers, right?  So I was all sot.  Just to be on the safe side, doh, I trew a blanket in da Rhino to go over me legs in case it got too cold.  So off we goes, in around Bay Bulls-Big Pond (which Townies tinks is the cunt-ry.  Sure if dey goes past da over-pass dey tinks dere out in da bay!  But I digress…..and besides, I really loves me Townie, so I can’t say too much about ‘in.)

So da troutin’ was goin’ good, right?  I caught meself two beauts (as you can see in dee above snap).  But den, go figure, I goes and falls head over heels in a mud bog.  Honest to my God, I was mud arse hole to naval.  And friggin’ froze to det besides!   So I curls up in da Rhino under me blanket and texts Shawn, who had shagged off about a mull down the gully:  “Get me da frig outta here, I’m froze!”   So dat was the end of it fer me.  I was so pissed off, I didn’t even bodder wit da bile up, and you can ask anybody, dat’s not like me.  Not atall. I fair loves me bile ups!

TRANSLATION:

Once again, another unseasonably cold Victoria Day weekend in Newfoundland.  It never fails! The weather could be perfect all week, but once the long weekend arrives, the weather forecast is likely to be drizzle or light snow (or as those poor people in Central Newfoundland experienced, several centimeters of snow!).  So I woke up on Saturday morning and looked through my window.  R, D & F, as we Newfoundlanders  are so accustomed to: Rain, Drizzle and Fog.  I pulled the duvet up over my head.  Not even the thought of a meal cooked on the trial could  entice me out of the bed.  But Shawn would have none of it!  He was going fishing for trout no matter what the weather.  Since I drove all the way to St. John’s to see him, I suppose I had to get up and go fishing with him.   So we loaded our side-by-side all terrain vehicle (ATV) on to the truck.

I wasn’t too concerned with getting cold, since I had a winter jacket and a pair of rubber boots.  So I was all set.  Just to be on the safe side though, I threw a blanket in the ATV to go over my legs in case it got too cold.  So off we went, to Bay Bulls-Big Pond (which people from St. John’s tend to think is in the country.  If they even go past the over-pass, they tend to think they are “out in the bay”.  But I digress…..and besides, I really love Shawn, so it would not be right to express negativity about people from St. John’s.)

The fishing for trout was proceeding very well.  I had caught myself two fine specimens (as you can see in the above photo).  But then, as fate would have it, I fell into a mud bog.  I was completely covered in mud, and cold besides!   So I curled up in the ATV under my blanket and texted Shawn, who had wandered about a mile  down the river:  “Please take me home, Darling.  I am really cold!”   So that was the end of the adventure for me.   I was so disillusioned, I didn’t even bother with the outdoor cook-up, and you can ask anybody, that is not like me.  Not at all.  I absolutely love having outdoor cook-ups!

post c 358

Da Bile Up in July!

Test Your Cancer Survivorship I.Q:

17 May 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cancer Warrior in positive attitude cancer Tags: , ,

 

1.      Following a regular exercise program can reduce your risk of a cancer recurrence by as much as:

A.     10%

B.      20%

C.      30%

D.     40%

 

2.      This type of diet has been linked to  cancer and various other chronic illnesses:

A.     A diet that is high in sugar

B.      A diet that is high in fat

C.      A diet that is high in meats, dairy and other animal products

D.     All of the above

 

3.      A deficiency in this vitamins has been linked to breast cancer:

A.     Vitamin A

B.      Vitamin B

C.      Vitamin C

D.     Vitamin D

 

4.      This diseases causes more deaths among American women than any other:

A.     Heart disease

B.      Breast cancer

C.      Ovarian cancer

D.     Diabetes

 

5.      This spice has been shown in studies to shrink tumors:

A.     Oregano

B.      Turmeric

C.      Basil

D.     Pepper

 

6.      Which of the following statements is true:

A.    Cow’s milk is significantly higher in calcium than almond milk.

B.   The only way to get “whole protein” is from meat

C.      Blackberries are high in cancer fighting anti-oxidents

D.     White potatos are more nutritious than sweet potatos

7.      The ratio of Omega 6 to Omega 3 fatty acids that you should consume for optimal health is:

A.     1 to 1

B.      2 to 1

C.      3 to 1

D.     4 to 1

8.      Tumors and many different types of cancers feed on:

A.     Blood

B.      Protein

C.      Chemicals

D.     Insulin

9.      The percentage of cancer patients diagnosed today who will live more than five years:

A.     25%

B.      33%

C.      66%

D.     88%

 

10.  In a 2006 report, the Institute of Medicine recommended that all patients completing their primary treatment for cancer be given:

A.     A cancer survivorship plan

B.      A yearly PET scan

C.      A follow up MRI

D.     A gold medal

 

Scroll down to find the answers:

 

 

Answers:  D, D, D, A, B, C, B, D, C, A

If you scored 8 to 10, BRAVO!  You are a cancer survivor genius! (But there is always room for improvement, so stay tuned for our up-coming book: 100 Perks of Having Cancer Plus 100 Health Tips For Surviving It.  (Click here to learn more)

If you scored 5 to 7, you really need to brush up on your cancer survivorship facts.  Line up now for your copy of 100 Perks of Having Cancer Plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It.  (Click here to learn more)

If you scored below 5, (and you are really interested in surviving cancer), then you need a Cancer Plan 4 Life!   cp4l(Click here to learn more about this life-transforming program!)

How Flo Got Her Groove Back!

09 May 2013 41 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in humor cancer Tags: , , ,

DSC04919

(L to R) Kelly Ray, Me, Dana, and Suze being photo-bombed!)

If you are as old as me, you might recall the 1998 movie, “How Stella got her Groove Back”.   It is the story of how a forty-something year old woman had gotten into a bit of a rut in her life.  However, she managed to get her groove back by having a romantic fling with a much younger man.  Well, let me tell ya, there is nothing like a battle with cancer to suck the groove right outta ya!  To be honest however, I can’t completely blame cancer for the loss of my groove.  I think it actually took a hike a number of years before cancer attacked me.  Don’t get me wrong, I was happy and I certainly enjoyed my life.  But due to the stresses of daily living, being a single mom and just plain getting older, I had lost my sense of playfulness…..my sexiness…..my OOOMPH!  But guess what guys?   Last weekend, Flo got her groove back!  No, I did not bed a handsome young stud.  Nor did I jet off to Tuscany on a wine-tasting tour.  Believe it or not, I got MY groove back at a breast cancer retreat with a group of nearly 200 survivors, ranging in age from their early thirties to their eighties.

Before I tell the story of how I got my groove back, I will set the scene by introducing you to the old Flo.  The old Flo, “Groovy Flo”, as I like to call her, loved to dance.   And man could she shake her stuff on the dance floor!  Not only could she dance, but she had this amazing ability to remember the lyrics to nearly every song she ever heard (a talent which her guitar playing boyfriend, Shawn really envies).   So while she was grooving on the dance floor, she would also belt the tunes out of her as if she was some kind of rock star. It mattered not that she could not carry a tune, as she couldn’t be heard over the roar of the music anyway.  But boy did she look cool using a beer bottle as a pretend microphone and throwing in a bit of air guitar at random intervals.  Yeah, Groovy Flo could really rock, and rock she did nearly every weekend in her twenties and thirties.

Groovy Flo got a few curve balls thrown at her in her forties.  Her relationships with men were just not working out (despite her sexy dance moves).  Her youngest son was diagnosed with autism.  Then to put the icing on the cake, she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.   That was the death of Groovy Flo.  Then along came Spiritual Flo.  You would like her.  Spiritual Flo was really in to meditation, prayer, positive attitude, and trying to find the good in every person and every situation.  Although Spiritual Flo did not EVER rock down (well, except for a few times in the hot tub with her favorite cuz, Lil), she was very much at peace and more content with her life than she had ever been.

Then, as fate would have it, Spiritual Flo went to a breast cancer retreat in May, 2013, where she hooked up with two amazing survivors:  Judy and Suze.

R1

(L to R) Me, Judy and Suze

The three had an instant connection, like three old souls who had been sisters in a previous life and were finally reunited.  At the retreat, they were inseparable.  So it goes to follow that the three of them wound up sitting together at the Saturday night survivor’s dance.  Now let me tell you, you haven’t seen a place being rocked until you are in a room with nearly 200 breast cancer survivors, alcohol and loud music!  But Spiritual Flo was feeling a little out of place.  It had been at least six years since she had rocked it on the dance floor.  Watching those women with their sexy moves really intimidated her.  One was dancing burlesque for God’s sake!   Finally, Suze and Judy enticed her to the dance floor (after a couple of glasses of courage).  At first, she was a little stiff, but the more she danced, the better she moved.  It turns out that Groovy Flo was not actually dead after all.  She had just been sleeping for a few years, and despite the fact that she was 46 years old, she could still rock it on the dance floor.

Now you might think that a battle ensued between Groovy Flo and Spiritual Flo.  After all, how could the two distinct personalities possibly inhabit the same body?    But alas, the two personalities combined perfectly and melded to form a new Flo: a Flo who can meditate in the morning, and rock it down at night.  I like to call this Flo, “Survivor Flo”.

There are not enough words in the world for me to express my gratitude to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation (CBCF), its coordinator, Paula Tessier, and the amazing committee who work so hard to put off this annual event.  We, the participants, are in different stages of our healing journeys.  Some are still going through treatments, while others are celebrating 50 or more years of survivorship!  For most of us, our bodies have mended and our physical scars have healed.  But many of us still carry with us deep emotional and mental wounds from our cancer journeys.  While our bodies have healed, we still need to heal our fragile spirits.  By coming together to laugh, to cry, to learn from each other, to sing a song with Dana, and to dance with wild abandon, we make great strides in healing our broken spirits.  Again, thank you CBCF!

R2

I like to call this one “7 women, 5 boobs between them”

Running For My Life

28 Apr 2013 13 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in humor cancer Tags: , ,

perk pic 031

It’s a lucky thing that I was born with a good metabolism, because let’s face it, for most of my life I have been a complete slob…albeit a skinny one.  I ate whatever I wanted without any regards to whether it was good for me or bad for me, and I did ZERO exercise!  Even as a kid I hated exercise.  While every other kid in my school loved gym class, I would do anything to avoid it.  By the time I got to grade 8, I was forging my mother’s signature on notes to my gym teacher:  “Dear Mr. White, please excuse Florence from gym class.  She got her period.”  Poor Mr. White, I don’t know if he ever figured out that it was impossible for me to have my period every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Or maybe he was just too embarrassed to call me on it.   It was such a relief to start high school where gym class was an option.  Give me Biology, give me French, give me Economics…..anything but gym!   Don’t get me wrong, I loved sports……….just so long as I was sitting in the stands cheering on the boys in their hockey or soccer game.  But you would never find me strapping on a pair of ice skates or cleats!

When I reached my twenties, the Olivia Newton John “Let’s Get Physical” craze was sweeping the nation.  Aerobics was the new sex.  I had no choice but to give it a try.  However, while Olivia made aerobics look sexy, I looked more like a rabid monkey, arms flailing, tripping over my two left feet.  I soon retired my leg warmers and decided to give myself a decade off from exercise.  In my thirties I was having my babies and needless to say I added a few inches to my girly figure.  But lucky for me, a new state of the art scientifically proven form of exercise had just been developed that was right up my alley: toning beds!   All I had to do was get strapped to these beds, which painlessly moved my body while I could watch the inches disappear.  Sadly, I did not lose any inches from this scam.  All I lost was a wad of cash.  I decided to give myself another decade off.

True to my word, when I reached 40, I bought myself a pair of running shoes and hit the trail.  Believe it or not, I finally found a form of exercise that I actually enjoyed.  I started off slowly, but within months I was able to run five kilometers!  Don’t get me wrong, I am no marathon runner.  The most trial I have ever covered is about 7 ½ kilometers.  Nor am I a speed runner.  A duck once pulled out and passed me while I was running around Salt Pond Trail.  But I am a runner all the same.  I can outrun my kids, and a lot of people who are half my age.  I take great pride in that.

After my diagnosis of cancer, running became something more than an ego booster.  It became an important component of my survival plan.  Studies show that a regular exercise program can reduce the risk of a cancer recurrence by as much as 40%.  Now that is something really worth running for.  So when I run now, it is not just so that I can brag to my kids that I just ran 5 kilometers…..now I am literally running for my life!

A Story For You….

20 Apr 2013 7 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in positive attitude cancer Tags: ,

I think I have developed a case of writer’s block.  I generally only post to my blog once a week now, so you would think it would be EASY to come up with an interesting topic.  Not so.  I have toyed with the ideas of blogging about:

-The bruise on my big toenail

-Almond milk (which, by the way, contains exactly the same amount of calcium as 1% cow’s milk!)

-My bed

But instead, I would like to tell you a story.  Whenever I am giving a public talk, I often will start with this story, as I see no better way of illustrating the POWER of having a positive attitude.

rocking chair

There was once an old man who lived on the outskirts of a small town.  He loved to sit outside on his porch each day, rock in his rocking chair, smoke his pipe and watch the people come and go from his town.  One day as he was sitting outside, he noticed a young man approaching him.  This man was walking slowly, head down, kicking rocks as he shuffled along. 

He stopped and spoke to the old man: “I come from the factory town up the road.  You may have heard about us, the factory just shut down and many of my townspeople are out of work.  We have to leave our town and try to find work elsewhere, but before I move to a town, I would like to know first what the people are like.  So old man, what are the people like in your town?”

The old man took a long draw on his pipe and replied, “Well son, you tell me first.  What are the people like in the town you come from?”

“Oh they are a terrible lot of people”, replied the young man. “Thieves and cut-throats.  Not an honest man among them.  They would never do anything to help a person in need.  In fact, I am sort of glad I don’t have to live there anymore!” 

The old man nodded thoughtfully and said, “Son, I think you will find the people are the same in this town.”

The young man continued along the road out of town, and shortly after the old man saw another young man approaching him.  This young man however, was whistling a tune as he skipped along.  He stopped and spoke to the old man.

“Hello sir,” he said, “I come from the factory town up the road.  You probably know that our factory closed down and many people are looking for work and a place to move their families.  This looks like a good town, with plenty of work,but first sir, I would like to know, what are the people like in your town?”

Again, the old man paused and said, “Tell me son, what are the people like in the town you come from?”

“Oh they are a lovely lot of people!” said the young man, “so kind and neighbourly.  They would do anything to help you out in a time of need.  They are good, honest, hard- working people.  I really hate to leave that town, but I need to find work.”

The old man smiled and said, “Son, I think you will find the people are the same in this town.”

When I was blogging 100 perks of having cancer, I talked a lot about the power of positive thinking.  This is a topic which can be controversial in the world of cancer.  Some would say that the pressure from society to maintain a positive attitude while going through something as horrific as cancer can weigh heavily on those diagnosed.  Then there is the myth that a positive attitude can cure cancer, which implies that if you die from cancer, your attitude was not positive enough.  So I can see where the whole idea of a positive attitude with regards to cancer gets a bad rap.

That said I have never seen anyone be hurt by a positive attitude.  And while it does not guarantee a longer life, focusing on the positives in any situation will ensure a happier life.  The wise old man knew something.  He knew that these two young men, who were obviously from the same town, would take something with them wherever they went: their attitude.  One was sure to find happiness and goodness in any town, while the other would find only doom and gloom.  What would you find?

Do You Or Someone You Love Have Facebook Phobia??!!!

12 Apr 2013 8 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in humor cancer Tags:

FB

Please answer these questions honestly:

-Do you proclaim, “Oh, I don’t USE Facebook” with the same air of indignation that one might say, “Oh, I don’t SMOKE!”

-Do you resist setting up a Facebook account because you feel that you are in some way “superior” to those who use Facebook?

-Do you really believe that most people who use Facebook are “Up to no good”?

-Do you think that using Facebook lowers one’s intelligence?

If you answered “Yes” to one or more of these questions, then you may be suffering from Facebook Phobia!

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of legitimate reasons why people choose NOT to have a Facebook account, such as:

-“I am really protective of my privacy, almost to the point of being neurotic.”  (Natasha, age 34)*

-“The truth is, I follow my daughter’s Facebook account, but I know that if I had an account, I would spend ALL of my free time on there!” (Diane, age 40)*

-“I don’t know how to use a computer. But please show me how many people wished me a Happy Birthday on YOUR  Facebook account!”  (Dad, age 70)*

(*Names have been changed to protect privacy.)

So I am not saying that every person without a Facebook account has a phobia.  People have their own reasons for choosing not to be a part of the 21st Century social world. I don’t have a problem with that.  What puzzles me, however, are those people who look at Facebook fanatics such as myself as being just one step above heroin addicts!

Sure, there is lots of B.S going around on Facebook.  Hey, there is lots of B.S on radio, T.V, newspapers and anywhere else people get to publically voice their opinions.  But there is also a lot of GOOD happening on Facebook……and I would like to point out some of the good that I witness each day.  (‘Cause that’s the perky kinda person I am:)

-Yesterday as soon as I got home from work, I grabbed my laptop (aptly named “Lappie”) to find out what has been happening in the Facebook world in my 8 hour absence.  I was sad to learn that a family in a neighbouring community had just lost their home to a fire.  But it was so good to see the outpouring of charity for this family in their time of need.  Within hours of the tragedy, Facebook users were calling for donations for the family, even giving their clothes and shoe sizes, and setting up venues for donations to be dropped off.  What a caring community, these Facebookers!

-In my first year working as a Guidance Counsellor, I was tickled to have a set of very mischievous twins in my school (well, at least ONE was full of mischief!).  Sadly, twenty years later, one of the boys has been diagnosed with leukemia, and his brother has just donated his bone marrow.  Although I do not have direct contact with this family, I follow their progress daily on Facebook.  In addition to cheering them on, the Facebook community has been very active in fundraising to help offset their financial burden.  What a powerful force, these Facebookers!

-A former colleague of mine is in the process of quitting smoking.  She puts regular up-dates on Facebook and we cheer her on in her challenge.  Recently she wrote that she was about ready to cave in to an intense craving when she remembered how her Facebook community has supported her so far in her goal, and this helped her to resist the temptation.  What a great support network, these Facebookers!

-I would be amiss not to mention my own experience with the Facebook Community.  When I was going through treatments for cancer in 2011 and 2012, I would regularly post my status to Facebook and I was honored by the support from my Facebook community.  Whether it was a “praying for you”; “thinking of you”; or “wishing you well”; all were written with good intent and therefore were powerful forms of prayer.  Say what you will, I am PROUD to be a Facebooker!

(Share if you agree:)

What Is A SURVIVOR?

09 Apr 2013 12 Comments

by Cancer Warrior in positive attitude cancer Tags: , , , ,

First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to wish a very Happy 70th Birthday to my dad, Len Strang.  We had hoped that all five sisters would be together to celebrate the event, but unfortunately, the youngest could not make it.  It has been many years since my whole family has been together under one roof, and I felt it important that we get a family picture.

Dad bday 2

Happy Birthday, Dad!

“It could be ten years before we all get together again”,  I insisted, “A lot can happen in ten years!  We might never again have this opportunity!”

My sisters nodded solemnly and replied, “Yeah, Dad is really getting up there now.  He might not even be around in ten years.  We need to do something to mark this occasion.”

Whoa!  Whadda ya mean Dad might not be around in ten years?  He will only be 80.  Of course he will be around. It’s ME I’m worried might not be around.

I did not speak those words, but that is exactly what I was thinking.  It surprised me to learn that my family doesn’t think that way at all.  They seem to see me as someone who has “beaten” cancer, a true survivor. They see cancer as part of my past, not something I continue to struggle with on a daily basis. Isn’t that how society sees us SURVIVORS  as well?

When I was diagnosed with Stage 111 breast cancer in April, 2011, I really struggled with the term “survivor”.  While I was going through treatments, I referred to myself as a cancer warrior.  I figured that the word survivor was reserved for those who had beaten cancer, and were declared cancer-free.  I was holding off on labeling myself in that way until I was sure that there was no evidence of the disease left in my body.

After my last treatment, on March 30th, 2012, my Oncologist gave me the all clear.  Yet I was still reluctant to call myself a survivor.  After all, the type of cancer that I had yielded just over a 50% five year survival rate.  I decided that I would not be hasty.  I would wait until the magical five year mark was up, and then I could truly call myself a survivor.  It would be impossible for cancer to touch me after that critical time had elapsed, I thought.

I made myself a survival plan, to get me through to my five year “cancer-versary”.  My plan included taking the hormone-inhibitor, tamoxifen, healthy eating, taking supplements, drinking more water, exercise, and stress management techniques.  While doing the research on how to remain cancer-free however, I made a startling discovery.   I learned that there is no cure for cancer!  (I suppose on some level I already knew that, but I didn’t think it applied to me.)  Reaching the five year mark will not guarantee that I will be cancer-free for life.  Those sneaky little cells can lie dormant in my body for decades and come back to get me!

I then made two life transforming realizations: 1. That from the day of my diagnosis until the day I draw my last breath, I am a cancer survivor.  2. Cancer was more than just a temporary disruption in my life.  It is something that I will “battle” for the rest of my life in my fight to remain cancer-free.

So yeah, everyone, I am a cancer survivor.  However that does not mean that I have “beaten” cancer, as there is always the risk of a recurrence.  It means that I take on every day with a survivor’s attitude in my fight to remain cancer-free!

Dad bday 1

The fam, minus sister Lynette

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