Tag Archive | anxiety

Suffering in Silence

Feb3

“I’m having these weird thoughts about having sex with my mother.”

“God is telling me to kill my boyfriend.”

“I keep getting visions of having oral sex with my three year old cousin.”

“I don’t want to die, but I can’t get rid of these thoughts that I am going to kill myself.”

These are actual statements that I have heard from clients in my Psychology practice over the past few months. If you are now picturing my client as some creepy pedophile or deranged serial killer, you would be wrong. My clients are typically young (aged 18 to 30), intelligent, educated, come from loving families and are in healthy relationships with a significant other. Yet every day they face an overwhelming battle with their own minds, trying to convince them that they are suicidal, child molesters, incestuous, or potential murderers. What these young people are suffering from is an anxiety provoking phenomena called intrusive thinking.

An intrusive thought is an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate. (Wikipedia)

Generally, intrusive thoughts come in one or more of these forms:

-Sexualised intrusive thoughts
-Intrusive thoughts in relation to children
-Violent, harm causing intrusive thoughts
-Religious intrusive thoughts
-Intrusive thoughts regarding your sexual identity
-Intrusive thoughts regarding your family
-Intrusive thoughts relating to death

Intrusive thoughts tend to be about things that are valued by you. For example, if you are an animal lover, you may have intrusive thoughts about harming animals. If you are a religious person, you may have intrusive thoughts about God or a religious figure. In all cases, these thoughts are unwanted and cause great distress and anxiety for those who experience them.

Intrusive thoughts can be difficult to treat because of the air of secrecy that surround them. I am sure you have all heard of anxiety, depression, OCD, and other mental health issues, but very few people are familiar with the term intrusive thinking. Therefore, when these thoughts arise, people tend to think that they are “crazy”, or that they really are child molesters or even capable of killing someone they love. They feel ashamed and guilty for having these thoughts, and try to hide them, even from their counsellors.

I recently met with a lovely young university student whose voice shook as she told me, “I am having bad thoughts.” Before she could finish, I said, “Oh, they are probably about inappropriate sexual actions or killing yourself or someone else, right?” She both laughed and cried with relief as I explained to her that she is not alone, and that there are techniques that she can use to rid herself of these unwelcome thoughts. For the first time in many years, she felt “normal” and had hope that her quality of life would improve.

February is Psychology month, and in honor of this, I ask that you share this article to help raise understanding and awareness of intrusive thoughts. If this article reaches you and you are suffering from intrusive thinking, please remember that you are not alone and there is help. There is no need to suffer in silence.

www.florencestrang.com

Do You Need Help To Manage Your Anxiety?

Feb15

In 25 years of practicing psychology, about 90% of clients who come to me for counseling are suffering from anxiety. It comes in so many forms that many people do not even realize that it is the culprit for their misery. Some of my clients have full blown panic attacks: racing heart, shortness of breath, feeling faint, choking sensation, and a sense of impending doom. Others experience anxiety with just one symptom: a tightness in the throat and feeling that they can’t swallow; persistent worry; or a feeling of being detached from their body and from society. Having one symptom can be just as debilitating as having full blown panic attacks.

The good news is, there is no need to suffer in silence! There are natural techniques for managing anxiety which scientific studies have proven can be just as effective as taking medication. Do you need help in managing your anxiety? Take this simple test to find out your anxiety level (credit for this test goes to David Burns):

Based on how you have been feeling for the past week, rate the following 5 items on a scale of 0 to 3 where:

0-not at all

1-somwhat

2-moderately

3- a lot

To what extent have you been feeling anxious, nervous or worried?
To what extent have you been feeling tense, restless or unable to relax?
To what extent have you been feeling stressed, uptight or on edge?
To what extent have you been having frightening thoughts, fantasies or daydreams? (eg. what if my son is in a car accident? What if I get sick? etc.)
To what extent have you been having physical symptoms of stress, such as racing heart, throat constrictions, shortness of breath or tight, tense muscles?

Interpretation:

0 to 2: normal

3 to 5: borderline anxiety

6 to 10: mild to moderate anxiety

11 to 15: severe anxiety

Over the years, I have accumulated an entire toolbox of strategies, techniques and tools for treating anxiety. I have combined these techniques into an organized program called Mindful Anxiety Management, which has helped hundreds of people to keep their anxiety in check. It is a program based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which simply means the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Right now, for example, there are no neural pathways in my brain for playing a musical instrument, since I have never tried to learn that skill. However, if I wanted to learn to play the piano, I could take lessons and practice. Every time I practiced I would be strengthening the neural pathways in my brain for that skill. Eventually, with enough practice, I would be able to sit at a piano and play without even thinking about it, thanks to the neural pathways I created.

Right now, many of you have strong neural pathways in your brain for anxiety, worry and stress, because that is what you PRACTICE on a daily basis. You have made these neural pathways so well worn, that it is the path that your brain will naturally take you on as soon as you open your eyes in the morning. Well, what if you could create NEW neural pathways…..pathways for peace and relaxation? That is exactly what Mindful Anxiety Management does!

What is the opposite of anxiety? Relaxation. It is impossible to feel both anxious and relaxed at the same time. It makes sense then, that the best treatment for anxiety is to build strong neural pathways in the brain for relaxation. How do you do this? You PRACTICE relaxation skills. Remember, “relaxation skills” are not the same as simply “relaxing”. They are a specific set of skills that can be used to calm the body and the mind, and promote a sense of well being.

Because of the success that my clients have achieved with Mindful Anxiety Management, I have decided to offer online groups, so that people can participate from the comfort of their own homes. This is especially useful for people who have social anxiety, as many would find it overwhelming to be in a room full of people. If you are interested in learning more about these groups, please check out my website: https://www.florencestrang.com/upcoming-workshops

Want to start building your neural pathways for relaxation right now? Then find a place that is free from distractions and listen to this 10 minute guided visualization.

Just relax!

Is Your Life Crappy, Or Happy?

Jul1

The Crappy

When you think about it, my life has been pretty crappy! To begin with, I suffered through my childhood with an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I don’t remember when I had my first panic attack, but by the time I started school, they were a regular occurrence, making my school years a living nightmare. My teen and early adult years were not so bad. I got the anxiety under control and I met and married my high school sweetheart. However that ended in a painful divorce. It took me years to recover from that. During the latter part of my marriage, the anxiety returned and I suffered a full blown nervous breakdown. My anxiety and panic attacks were so intense that I could not go to work; I could not do simple chores, like banking or even get my hair styled. I couldn’t even take care of my own kids. What kind of a Psychologist has a nervous breakdown, anyway? That doesn’t say much for my skills as a counsellor, don’t you agree?

Following my divorce, I had not one, not two, but three….count them, THREE failed relationships, each one lasting four years. I must be a sucker for punishment! Can you just imagine how much heartache and suffering I have endured, just from breakups alone? Jeeze, I must have endured 10 break ups and make ups in just one of those relationships. Do you have any idea how many tears I have cried over men? Sure, I am now in a relationship with a wonderful guy, but knowing my luck, that will probably end in disaster as well.

Then, when I was 41, I got dealt one of the hardest blows of my life. My youngest son, Ben, was diagnosed with autism. It is not easy being a single parent to a child with autism. Every day, there are challenges. Just a few days ago, for example, we went to a store for him to buy a DVD. The one he wanted was not there, which resulted in a complete meltdown. For what felt like an hour, he screamed cried, jumped up and down and was completely inconsolable. I felt so embarrassed as everyone in the store pointed and stared at us. By the time I dragged him to the car, I was in tears myself. That is just one of the challenges. Trust me, there are plenty more.

Life certainly didn’t improve during my forties…….a single mom of three kids, the youngest with autism, with a string of failed relationships. Just when I was at the point of thinking “What else could possibly go wrong with my life?” BAM….I get diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at the age of 44. It has been five years of suffering; surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and constant fear of it coming back. Cancer has scarred my body and it has scarred my soul. I will never again be the person I was before my diagnosis. Yes, folks, life has been crappy for me, that is for sure.

The Happy

When you think about it, my life has been pretty happy! Sure, I had a rough start in life, with an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. However, I give credit to that experience for my decision to become a Psychologist. I am now 26 years into my career and I can honestly say I have not had a single regret about my career choice. Not many people can say that! I can thank my childhood anxiety disorder for helping to make me the woman I am today. By the time I was a teen, the anxiety seemed to be under control and I really rocked the 80’s. I had great friends and a wonderful boyfriend who later became my husband. Sadly, that ended in divorce, but from it, I got two wonderful children, Kailtyn and Donovan. While divorce is painful, I learned a lot about myself from that experience.

My anxiety returned when I was in my thirties, and eventually resulted in a nervous breakdown. It was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, but I can honestly say, it has made me a better Psychologist. When I am counseling clients with anxiety, I am not just talking the talk. I have walked the walk. I know what a panic attack feels like, and what it is to battle an anxiety disorder. I also know that the techniques that I teach my clients really work. After being nearly 10 years panic attack free, without medication, I am living proof of the success of these techniques. I have had great success with treating anxiety, and as I write this, my services are in such high demand that I have a wait list of clients.

When I look back over my love life, no doubt about it, it was a rocky road. But I can honestly say that something good came from each of my failed relationships. I hold no grudges and I have no regrets. As the old saying goes, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Each of these relationships taught me something about myself and what I am truly deserving of in a relationship. And now, I have hit the jackpot! Steve Robertson is the most kind, caring, loving, affectionate and attentive man that I have ever met. (And I am NEVER letting him get away!)

I won’t lie to you, it is not easy raising a child with autism. There are so many challenges. For example, I am always on alert for him to have a meltdown in a public place, like he recently did when he could not find the DVD he wanted. However, because of that incident, I came up with a genius way to prevent further mishaps like that. When we left the store that day, Ben could not be consoled. He wanted to go to another store to look for the DVD. I didn’t know what to do. If the DVD was there, it would be the end of the upset. But if it wasn’t, it would probably result in an even more severe meltdown. That’s when I got my idea. I sent my daughter, Kailtyn in to the store to take pictures of the DVD displays, while we waited in the car. Sure, Ben got upset when he looked at the pictures and realized the one he wanted was not there. But we were in the car, so it wasn’t so bad. He eventually calmed down and choose another DVD from the pictures. Soon he was smiling, laughing, and even singing a little song that made me smile, “Rise and shine and give God your glory, glory…..” Since Ben has so many communication challenges, hearing him sing is literally music to my ears. As the saying goes, “All is well that ends well.” Sure, there are challenges to being Ben’s mom, but I can assure you, the joys of being his mom far outweigh the challenges!

At 44 years old, I was shocked to discover that I had breast cancer. I thought that my life was ending. In retrospect, I can see that my life was only just beginning. Not only did I face the challenge of battling the disease, but I did so with finesse, if I do say so myself. Finding “The Perks of Having Cancer” has changed my life. Five years ago, I would never have imagined myself as an award winning blogger, a best-selling author, and a sought after motivational speaker (I especially would not have believed the public speaking part!!!). But here I am at 49, feeling more confident and accomplished than I ever dreamed possible. Cancer has scarred my body and it has scarred my soul. But like a phoenix who rises from its ashes, a new Flo has arisen from cancer. I will never again be the person I was before my diagnosis! I now realize that I am capable of accomplishing anything that I set my mind to. I also know my own worth for the first time. Yes, folks, life has been happy for me, that is for sure.

The Truth

The truth is, we all have the crappy and we all have the happy. It is where you choose to focus your attention that determines whether you live a crappy life, or you live a happy life. I believe that I am a happy person because I choose to focus on the good things in my life, and the life lessons that I have learned from the trials and tribulations. Attitude is a choice. Will you choose to focus on the crappy or the happy? It’s completely up to you.

The Perks of Having Cancer!

Follow Florence's Challenge To Find 100 Perks Of Having Cancer.

Tag Archive | anxiety

Suffering in Silence

Do You Need Help To Manage Your Anxiety?

Is Your Life Crappy, Or Happy?