Sometimes Cancer Hurts


No doubt about it, I managed to sail through my year with cancer with flying colors.  Despite the discomfort of all my treatments and procedures, the cancer itself did not cause me to be sick, or to be in pain of any kind.  Which is why it grieves me so that I have been suffering so much from this lingering infection!  It has caused me pain, weakness, weight loss, and an overall sense of unwellness.  For a while there, it even broke my spirit.  Yes folks, the positive attitude took a hike, and I found myself thinking, “If I ever came across a blog about the Perks of Having Infections, I will hunt down that b**tch and choke her with my IV cord!”

During my latest hospital stay, I found myself getting a bit stir crazy in my room, so I decided to take a stroll down the hallway.  Although I was wearing a hospital gown,  which was partially open in the back offering occasional glimpses of my pink granny-panties,( and I was sporting my usual cockatoo hair-do), I think I managed to pull off a certain air of sophistication by sipping on a Tim Horton’s Ice Capp as I strolled along.  In one room, I caught a glimpse of a man who looked familiar.  I was pretty sure that we had done chemo together, but I didn’t want to just barge in to his room and ask him.  (I could picture him yelling, “Who are you? SECURITY, come take this crazy lady from my room!”).  So after confirming his identity with three nurses, I felt comfortable enough to go in and speak to him.  He recognized me right away.   It turns out that his cancer has progressed beyond treatments and he is now at the pain management stage.  This made me suddenly realize that things could be a whole lot worse, and that an infection is really a minor thing compared to what could have been.   And that realization is what re-awakened my old fighting spirit.  I am going to kick infection’s ass!  (I know that does not sound as cool as “kick cancer’s ass”, but cut me some slack here.)

12 thoughts on “Sometimes Cancer Hurts

  1. Wtih that attitude, there’s no doubt you will kick it. Love that spirit! Hope to meet you in person soon.

    • thanks Ethel! My hotmail was recently hacked and shut down…I am just getting it back and have hundreds of emails to sort through, so I will be in touch. If you see an email from me with the title Private Message, do not open it, it is a virus!

  2. I agree that the infection is worse than the cancer. Mine nearly broke my spirit, too, and it continues to haunt me in ways large & small. From worrying that a simple cut will morph Into a bigger problem to needing prophylactic antibiotics before & after any future surgery, the infection still has a hold over me. Your fighting spirit will prevail!

    • I remember reading your blog about your fight with infection, Nancy, and I thought about you through my ordeal. I can’t even come up with the one PERK of having an infection….

  3. I’m in the same boat as you. Been experiencing more aches, pains and infections since treatment than during. It has also weakened my spirit and surprises me that this phase is harder than treatment. Thanks for the reminder that it could be worse. I know that, but sometimes I forget it in the midst of my own trials. Praying you are well soon and have no recurring infections or issues to deal with.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s