I am a worrier by nature. Even as a child I was often ridden with angst. My favourite time to worry is the middle of the night. I call it my “3 a.m. worry-fest”. Some of my best worry topics are:
-my kids’ health and safety
If I don’t have anything legitimate to worry about, I can easily make something up in a pinch (such as: “What if there is a tidal wave in the middle of the night and I have to get the kids to high country? How will we survive when we get there? I should really go pack a survival kit right now.”)
I just read a book which is making me re-consider my worry habit. Dying to be Me is the story of Anita Moorjani’s near death experience, and subsequent miraculous recovery from cancer. This woman was literally on her death bed, her skeletal body had open lesions, her organs had begun to shut down, and she was given less than 36 hours to live. While in a coma, Anita “crossed over”, and came back with such amazing insight and clarity that it cured her of her cancer. It is a true medical miracle which continues to baffle the world-wide medical community.
What interested me in this book is not her description of the after-life, the feeling of unconditional love and euphoria, or even meeting departed loved ones on the other side. That was a given for me before reading this book. What I wanted to know is this: what gave you cancer in the first place and how did you get rid of it?
When asked what gave her cancer, Anita says, “I can sum up the answer in one word: fear.” She believes that all disease starts fist on an energetic level, before manifesting as disease in the body. Ironically, one of the things she was most afraid of was getting cancer. According to Anita, because she worried so much and tried so hard to please others, she did not express her true self, and it was literally killing her.
When asked about her miraculous healing, Anita talks about the importance of self-love. “…I can’t stress enough how important it is to cultivate a deep love affair with yourself.” Her near death experience made her realize the importance of taking care of her own needs and not putting herself last all the time. (Sound familiar?)
So what I have concluded from this riveting book is that the only real thing I have to fear is fear itself. By worrying about my cancer returning, I am actually increasing the likelihood of it happening, since cancer feeds on fear! In order to remain cancer-free, one of the things I must do is let go of my worries and fears and trust in God’s divine plan for my life. Like Anita Moorjani, I must try to live my life fearlessly, and love the magnificent being that I am.